Interracial Dating in Australia: Four Things to Keep in Mind

Race relations are a hot topic in today’s society, and there are a lot of conversations about how to support racial groups you don’t belong to.

While learning how to be an ally is great, it’s worth revisiting these concepts in the context of sexual and romantic relationships because they are a bit different than dealing with a coworker or acquaintance.

Australia has some ugly racial scars, so whether you are on your third interracial relationship or are just starting out, here are a few things to remember when dating someone of a different racial background.

1. Talking About Race is Essential

This is a no brainer. The same way gender is a part of a woman’s everyday life, race is a part of every non-white person’s daily experience. It changes the way they are perceived by others, the art they create and the work they do in general.

It’s okay to be uncomfortable if you happen to be a white Australian, but it is important to be aware of how race plays out in Australia and shapes everyone lives.

2. Familial Relationships May Be Unfamiliar to You

Whatever your background, your race and culture play a big role in how your family structure works. Don’t assume that everyone’s family works the same as yours just because you are both Australian and talk the same or have similar education backgrounds.

It may be inappropriate for your partner to bring you home to meet their parents. It may even be inappropriate to talk to their parents about your dating life in any way. Maybe there is a process they have to go through to explain why they’re with someone of a different race.

Talk about family stuff in the beginning instead of assuming you know how it will all play out. That way, you both have a clear understanding of what you’re about to get into.

3. Question Your Frustration

You’re not required to stay with anyone if you feel you needs or values are taking a backseat to your partner’s. However, it is important to ask yourself why things that you consider “difficult” or “different” frustrate, anger or irritate you.

Because are your needs and values really being compromised? Or are you seeing yourself as the default in the relationship and punishing your significant other for deviating from what you consider the norm?

4. Speak Up When People Close to You Say Racist Things

We all love our families desperately, but constantly explaining why Oriental is not an ok term will get exhausting for anyone.

Regardless of their intent, your family and friends are going to say some messed up things. It’s your job to say something, as a partner and as a fellow human being who’d want someone to defend them.

Generally transforming a mistake into a teachable moment is more effective than complaining something is racist, but do what works best for your individual relationships.

The Point Is…

Dating is hard and being responsible for how your views and actions affect someone is hard too. It gets harder when race is involved.

You know what’s harder? Being with someone who doesn’t care to understand who you are as a person. By working to ensure your eyes and ears are open, your interracial relationship will blossom.

Adhere To This When Dating a Black Woman

Last time I checked, a black woman was just a woman! So white men please, you want to win that black girl’s heart, don’t act so weird around her until you lose being yourself. And when you want to appreciate her, be grateful for her beauty or character. Don’t make it sound like you are marginalizing her in some way so avoid micro aggressions that in reality make her feel hurt, slimming your chances for a second date. What are micro aggressions?

Micro aggressions are comments, or rather actions, that degrade a marginalized person. The term was used by psychiatrist and Harvard University professor Chester M Pierce to refer to insults and dismissals he witnessed American non-blacks inflict on African Americans. Mostly white men use this when approaching black women. A typical statement of this type is “you’re pretty for a black woman”.

To avoid causing harm, let me offer some interracial dating advice to white men on how to approach a black woman.

As you are getting to know this woman more, please keep the following in mind for happy long term dating.

1. Be open-minded minded about the differences in race and culture.
Racial topics will often come up in conversations with your black partner, but please avoid saying “you are clever/pretty/beautiful for a black woman”. That may be meant to be a compliment but honestly what you are implying is “all black people are (something negative like ugly) but the one you are is an exception”

2. Accept black women’s sexuality.
Do not celebrate your black lovers like trophies. It marginalizes them by making them appear as if they are something exotic and mysterious. Don’t also expect them to be promiscuous or to twerk.
You will be disappointed when the black woman you are pursuing does not have these stereotypical characteristics. We are all different, so treat that woman as an individual. Don’t suffocate black women in one box of limited stereotypes. They are individuals just like all other women out there.

3. Be your real self.
As cliché as it may sound to you, you don’t have to pretend to be anyone else other than yourself when dating a black woman. Black women can be as nervous and cautious about interracial dating as you are, don’t pretend to be someone you are not to impress her. Talk to black women exactly the way you would talk to anyone else.

4. Accept a black woman as an individual.
It is assumed that people of a certain group behave the same but that is totally never the case. Please don’t ask a black woman “why do black people do (fill in the blank)?”. You can’t expect her to know all things about her race. Instead keep in mind that black women have varying backgrounds, interest and behaviors. Appreciate that woman you are dating or pursuing as an individual and make her feel special being with you. You will be amazed after realizing that black women are individuals that bring their own beliefs, strengths and weaknesses to a relationship – just like anyone else.

Ways to Make A Successful Interracial Match In Australia

Australia is one the most progressive countries when it comes to race and sexuality. It is one of very few countries to have a race commissioner that ensures cohesion by dealing with cases of racial discrimination. Interracial relationships are widely accepted in Australia as people from different races freely throughout the country.

With the advent of online dating, more people are making a match with partners outside their race especially from other countries. Interracial love in Australia comes with a fair share of hurdles, but the following are ways to build a successful interracial match in Australia:

Honesty
If you are trying to make a match through online dating it is important that you put the correct information in your profile. Create a list of what you are like as a person and also what you expect of an ideal partner. Add a recent photo and try as much as possible not to add too many filters that may alter your appearance.

Once you’ve connected with someone the ability to tell the truth and be transparent to your significant other is essential for any relationship . Honesty entails getting to know the other person and thus both parties must be willing to open up about various issues. In an interracial relationship, for instance, honesty regarding perception of the different cultural norms should be brought out clearly through honest dialogue. It is important to also speak your mind on whatever you feel to have a comfortable interracial relationship.

Positive support system
There will always be people who do not mean well to the interracial couples in Australia and even other areas of the world. For someone to be comfortably entangled in an interracial match, they need to have friends and family who want the best for them.  Friends who continuously encourage them and hang out with them even publicly are constructive and may as well influence the perception of cynical people about interracial love. A positive support is crucial.

Relation with others
How you relate with someone says a lot about your personality. It is important for the interracial couple to treat other people with utmost respect, understanding and love because these virtues go two-ways. Interracial couples expect others to respect and understand the decisions that they have made. The couple will definitely receive the same treatment. For the interracial couples to live successfully, they need to treat other people however they want to be treated.

Embracing differences
First of all, interracial couples need to acknowledge that they have differences, ranging from race, culture, religion to even language.These differences should not form a boundary between the couple. Embracing differences means changing the negative perception on the differences to a more positive view of the differences. This is done by viewingthese differences as a diversity and versatility of the couples and not as boundaries.

Patience
As the good saying goes; Love is patient. Studies have consistently proven that healthy and lasting interracial relationships have a trait of patience. For interracial matches, patience is equally important from either or both parties. They need to realize that love, importantly, put them together and understand that they are in the relationship for a long time. Patience also includes the willingness to accept that the couple will grow old and grey together.

Race and interracial relationships

Every interracial couple would love to just be in love with each other without having to deal with all the questions that people have and all of the stereotypes that they are put under. Unfortunately, the race is not something you can avoid when it comes to certain cultures.

Every culture has its stigmas when it comes to dating someone who is not in the community. Even to this day, black women are questioned about the credibility they hold in the society just because they choose to be with a man from another ethnicity. This is sadly not a stereotype that only black women have to face. It is for this reason; we have come up with some interracial dating tips that would help out a couple who find themselves in a similar predicament.

1. COMMUNICATION
When it comes to interracial couples, the stereotypes are worse than usual. The sad thing is when even your close friends and dear family members start to stereotype or make insensitive jokes without realizing it. One way to push through it by communicating your feelings. Let your partner know what is bothering you, and what makes you happy. It is the foundation and basis of any strong relationship.

2. LOVE AND RESPECT
It is commonly said that love is necessary for any romantic relationship to function but, respect is just as important. By respecting your partner as an individual you show love for them as well. Accepting and appreciating the fact that your partner is their own person and has their own life can be liberating for the relationship.

3. ACCEPTANCE
We all have shortcoming as humans. We are not supposed to be perfect, and neither is our partner. It is very important to understand that they might not like everything we do. They might hate something you love or vice-versa. If taken in the correct manner, this can help strengthen your relationship. You should try things that your partner likes, and so should your partner. You would be surprised by the results.

4. SPACE
No matter how close a couple might be, everybody needs their space. Everyone deserves some time to just themselves where they can be alone with their thoughts. Some people take this negatively. They think that their partner wanting to spend time alone means that they do not want to be with them. It is not true. Some people even go as far as to say that their partner might be cheating on them while all they did was want to spend some time alone. This mentality is toxic and should be discarded immediately.

These were the tips that should help a couple who are in an interracial relationship. Paying attention to tiny details plays a huge part in making a relationship work in a healthy manner. Everything comes down to taking things easy and keeping communication open at all times. Trusting your partner and giving them the space they need will help your relationship to prosper, and help you turn into a power couple that people love to be.

Interracial Dating in UK

Are you aware of the fact that United Kingdom has got the highest number of interracial couples and interracial dating in the UK is on a constant rise since the introduction of online dating platforms. Interracial dating is no more a taboo. No one raises an eyebrow when seeing an interracial couple walk hand in hand into a club, bar or restaurant.

Studies suggest that almost one out of every tenth person in the UK has been into an interracial relationship. Analysis of 2011 census data also suggests that interracial marriages and relationships have become more common.

The reason for the rise in interracial dating

Education and globalization

Education is one of the main reasons for the rise in interracial relationships, people once educated and working in multi-national companies are more open towards being in a relationship with someone from a different ethnicity.

Migration patterns

No doubt that the UK has got a large share of migrants who have been working and living there since a long time now. The peoples who have migrated from different countries to the UK were found to be more tolerant and respectful towards other communities as well.

Curiosity

Finding a partner from different race and community has got so easy that youngsters were found to get their self-involved in an interracial relationship out of curiosity. People are getting more open towards knowing more about other community and the interracial relationship is not a taboo anymore.

Some facts on interracial relationships in the UK

• Till 2011 alone, approximately 2.3 million people were living as a part of interracial couples.
• Apart from the high number of interracial relationships, White British have managed to segregate themselves from the interracial relationships.
• People from mixed ethnic groups were most likely to be found in the interracial relationship
• Biggest differences in sexes were found to be in Chinese, where women were twice likely to get themselves into the interracial relationship as compared to Chinese men.

Fun Things about Interracial Relationships

Be a part of the change

We are living in a time where radical groups are killing people on the basis of caste and religion, this world needs more people like you who are broad-minded and people who can think above race and religion.

Interracial relationships are working as a bridge to connect people from the different cultural backgrounds and it is giving you the opportunity to understand and respect other’s faith.

Breaking stereotypes

People have bad habits of stereotyping everything, people belonging to every ethnicity are labeled with stereotypes, no matter if you are Asian, African or a European; people are going to stereotype you according to their past experience with your community and religion.

Interracial relationships give you the capability to challenge the stereotypical mentality of society; you can prove them that your behavior is as unique as theirs.

A lot of learning

If you are fascinated by the learning different cultural values and like to have in-depth knowledge about other cultures as well then the interracial relationship is going to be the best experience for you.

I remember my first date with an Indian when he took me to an Indian food carnival to make me aware of their eating patterns, and I was seriously impressed with the quality of food and spices Indians have.  That experience made me have more interested in interracial dating and I have started dated guys from different cultures to grasp the best things from them.

Could have never got this easy

Before 2001 interracial relationships were not very common because of the obvious reasons, I mean I wanted to date someone from a different religion but I was in no mood to date anyone from my office and I was left with very few options. Online interracial dating has made things way too easy, now you can just hop on the specialty website and arrange a date for yourself from the very large database.

Online dating can be casually used to find people from different background, I love to hear their stories and know more about their cultural values. I have found some of my dearest friends through online dating platforms.

Conclusion:

If you are still wondering if you should try for the interracial dating then I would just suggest you a simple solution. Just create a nice profile, arrange a coffee date with random strangers and spend some quality time with him/her. It’s okay to hang out with someone even if you are not interested in a relationship. You might end up finding your life partner in those hangouts with random people from the different cultural background.

CELEBRATING INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS ON LOVING DAY

On June 12, the country will be celebrating a little known holiday
popularly referred to as the “Loving Day” on June 12th.

Now, if this is your first time hearing about Loving Day… shame on you! Especially if you’re an interracial dater or been in any form of interracial relationship. You wouldn’t have had this opportunity if it weren’t for Mildred and Richard Loving! While some families have found no fault with interracial dating, others think it’s a taboo that shouldn’t even be considered.

WHAT’S THE HISTORY

It’s crucial to learn the history that paved the way for people to enjoy interracial love and the freedom to interracial marriage.

This white man/black woman couple was arrested on the charge of breaking Virginia’s 1924 Racial Integrity Act shortly after they returned back home to the state of Virginia from Washington D.C. where they had a secret wedding. The lovebirds had to plea bargain in order to prevent imprisonment. This led to them being banished from their adored state of Virginia – the place where they’d both spent their whole life.

They lived in exile, separated from their family, friends and loved ones, for years before making the decision to finally stand up for their rights. Holding to the fact that Virginia’s law was unconstitutional, the lovebirds took their case to the United States Supreme Court. And fortunately, on June 12, 1967, the ban placed on interracial marriage was lifted not just in Virginia, but all over the country.

This life-changing Supreme Court decision changed America. Every change in the world requires a catalyst and the lovebirds were brave enough to ignite the spark that lit a fire in courtrooms and lifted the law that refrained interracial lovers from being with each other.

As a way to honor the two and their determination, most people have called for the creation of an official U.S. government-recognized holiday known as the “Loving Day” which will be annually celebrated on June 12th.

We aren’t the only ones who think it’s really important to recognize Loving Day though. In fact, there’s an organization known as LovingDay.org that focuses on celebrating the beauty of interracial marriage and, especially, trying to skyrocket the need to make Loving Day a national-level event.

Annually, they sponsor Loving Day celebrations all over the country to celebrate the courageous journey of Mildred and Richard Loving and the diversity of interracial dating, which was made possible by the Lovings and their fight. You can support their cause of building multicultural communities by gracing them with an attendance at one of the Loving Day events in major cities like Washington D.C or New York.

Even if you’re not able to attend an event on June 12th we do strongly suggest doing something special with your mate to show your appreciation for the Lovings that day because if you got married interracially or if you’re still dating, it simply wouldn’t have been possible without these incredible trailblazers. Make sure you take the time to thank them by honoring their legacy.

Mixed Dating: How to maximise your chances of finding a lover

If you are one of those people out there who are finding it hard to meet a lover on the interracial dating scene, making a few changes to your lifestyle could be just what you need. What are those changes? Here are 7 great things you can do today which will maximise your chances of finding your dream lover.

1. Sign up to interracial dating or mixed dating sites– Apart from going to the club, signing up to a dating site is one of the best ways to maximise your chances of finding a lover. Not only does it give you access to many people at the same time but you can change the setting to only show you people close to you eliminating the distance barrier. It is very easy to get started and all you have to do is set up a profile, upload a picture and start chatting with matches.
2. Sign up to the gym– The gym isn’t just a good place to keep fit; it is also a wonderful place to meet like minded people. You can sign up for classes and meet plenty of new people in the process.
3. Switch your everyday routine up a bit– We all have a favourite place where we usually have our lunch or coffee. Instead of going to the same place over and over again each and every day, try changing things up and going to a different place with a different environment and surrounding. Who knows, you might meet you ideal lover there.
4. Go out more– If sitting at home watching soaps, reality television and films are your thing over the weekend it is time to chance that. If your friends are having a get together or a birthday party, tagging along doesn’t hurt at all and you will maximise your chances of meeting new people and potentially finding love.
5. Smile and don’t forget to make eye contact– With everyone stuck in their own bubble and the busy lives we have, not a lot of people take the time to observe their surroundings. They say “when you smile, the whole world smiles with you” give that a try next time you are out. Smile and make eye contact with people, even if it does lead to anything it is a nice gesture and also a good chance at finding love. You never know you might be smiling back and making eye contact with you.
6. Try to spend time with your work mates– If you spend plenty of time with your workmates, chances are they will introduce you to their friends when you tag along with them for some after work drink. This increases your chances of meeting a lover by about 15%.
7. Finding new hobbies– Anyone out there looking for interracial or black women white men love would be happy to know that love can sometimes come by finding people who share the same interests as you. It makes the dialogue on the first date very easy and you are both participating in a hobby you all love and enjoy.

4 Wrong Reasons For Interracial Dating.

Attitudes towards interracial dating are so progressive that some may prefer to exclusively date from a different race. But are they dating interracially for good reasons?

There are a number of reasons that I’ll advise you on why you should not date interracially, including gaining social status. Dating interracially for wrong and misguided reasons will lead to problems you won’t run away from.

If you want to get into interracial dating because of the following reasons, save yourself the trouble, please don’t!

1.To gain social status.

Some people from minority social groups look for mates from a dominant culture to upgrade their social status. Although today racial minorities are empowered to succeed in the society on their own, some people of color may feel the need to win a spouse from the dominant race to fit into the cooperate level.

No one should opt for dating another race to gain status recognition. If Barack Obama won the presidential seat with a black woman on his side, it is then not necessary to date interracially to gain upward mobility.

2. Everyone is doing it, it’s the current trend.

“Everyone seems to be going the interracial way, why shouldn’t I?” If that’s your big reason for dating someone from a different race, hold your horses.

Don’t proceed to date interracially because your colleagues, friends, and relatives are doing that and you don’t want to be the odd one out. Your dating life should not conform to what is trending or to what everyone is doing. The preferences and chemistry you feel towards someone, whether in your own race or a different race shall face a lot of challenges and if one gets in such because it is trending they might not be able to cope with them.

3. To follow or go against your parents’ wish

Many parents outrightly tell their children which racial groups they approve of them dating and which one they forbid them from dating.  Don’t be pressured to follow your parents’ racist beliefs, but at the same time, don’t marry from the disputed race just because you want to act rebellious to your parents.

If your preference about race differs with that of your parents, it’s thoughtful to discuss the issue with them instead of dragging someone you will end up hurting because you just want to please your parents or go against them. That could be very insensitive on your part.

4. To end the long chain of heartbreaks in your love life

You have dated a number of losers, cheaters and deadbeats. They all belonged to your race so your opinion is all men from this race are bad so you imagine you will make a better love story dating someone from a different race. That’s because losers only come from one race, right? If only it were that simple.

The solution to your romance problem is not crossing the racial line but examining why you have been constantly attracting unworthy partners.

Do you think the above interracial dating advice is useful? Welcome to post commen to us.

What Are the Challenges of Interracial Dating in a Relationship?

While funny looks and occasionally rude people may test a casual interracial relationship, people will really start to get annoying when you actually decide to commit to each other and let them know your plans.  For some reason, this provokes people and even the nicest of friends and relatives may start to get weird.

Here are a few challenges you should prepare for and some graceful ways of responding that minimize conflict.

1.Some people may not understand that you’re together.

Call it a quirk but many people are quick to assume that a black and white couple, or Asian and Latino couple are not “together” but might be friends or something.  This isn’t really hardcore racism, so there’s no need to get upset.  But DO be firm and remind everybody that this IS your boyfriend and girlfriend and that you’re not shy or embarrassed by it.  Your partner will be glad to see you so confident and in control!

2. Your partner is going to get hit on by other guys/girls.  It’s not a racial thing.

Okay, chalk this one up to paranoia.  Sometimes one person in an interracial relationship may get really angry when another person hits on their boyfriend/girlfriend—you know, because this rude person is ASSUMING you can’t possibly be together since you’re of a different race!

Believe it or not, it’s not a racial thing.  Some couples are too quick to become defensive.  We must understand that your partner is always going to be desired and looked at by other people regardless of race…because that’s just human nature.  There are plenty of lonely singles out there and sometimes they take a chance.  Just be honored that your partner is so beautiful/handsome and then remind the other person that this beauty is taken.

Sometimes friends and friends of your partner may also exhibit very “soft” racist attitudes – especially when it comes to the assumption that your black boyfriend/girlfriend should be with a black “sister” – and that the white girl is stealing a brother!

All that talk is ridiculous and totally unfair to the individual who may simply be attracted to a person for personal reasons – and it has nothing to do with status or symbol or anything like that.

3.Some people want you to play teacher.

The notion that you have to answer all these tough questions about interracial dating is sort of ridiculous and not exactly a PC attitude.  But don’t be surprised if family and friends ask you invasive and borderline stupid questions like “Do you only date Asians?” or “What does your family think of you dating a black person?” or “I dated a Native American once…”

These are all silly questions but usually they’re not given in a spirit of hostility.  Instead, the other person is just awkwardly trying to bond with you, in a strange way, but still an earnest effort.  Try to be respectful, but at the same time, don’t be dragged into a debate on race.  You love your partner because of who they are, not because of a political statement.

Don’t let people intimidate you, even if they’re your friends and family.  You and your partner deserve respect and you can act gracefully and yet be firm in your opinions at the same time.